How is your week going? I hope it’s going great! Mine per usual is kind of hectic! Ha something, I have become very accustomed to lately. So much in fact that I have had to take on a new way of managing my stress. I’m such a people pleaser that this has been a very hard thing. The biggest part of this has been learning to say “No”. Saying “No” might sound easy enough but when its saying “No” to people and things you love it can get very complicate. Everyone has stressors in their life so I thought I would share some of my recently discovered strategy for managing my stress levels!
First and foremost, write down what you must do. Whether it be in a note in your iPhone or on pen and paper, get them out of your mind and documented somewhere else! A few weeks ago I was on the verge of having a minor (okay major) meltdown because I thought I had so many things to do and wasn’t sure how to get them all done. My scatter – overwhelmed brain was suffocating me physically and emotionally. I thought I was going to loose it until Matt had me list out all the things I needed to do. He was so helpful, he wrote them in a note, and then we went back and estimated the amount of time we thought each task would take. This sounds so simple yet it was so immensely helpful! I can’t even start to describe how much better I felt just getting them out of my head! Once we had the list out of my body I feel like weight was lifted off of my chest.
Once we had the list and the amount of time each task was projected to take we prioritized them. What HAD to be done this weekend and what could wait. What could I ask for help on and what could only be done by me. I even planned out my downtime. When I said downtime -2 hours , Matt looked at me and laughed (which nearly sent me over the edge just thinking he thought there wasn’t’ time for that!) But he was laughing at the fact that I had even said that. Truth is that if you don’t take time for your mind and body to relax you become less productive, more tired, and if you’re like me a ball of tears in a puddle of emotion! Hah – but all jokes aside take time for yourself! You can only be the best version of yourself when you give yourself time to relax and process it all.
Giving time to yourself leads me to the point of learning to say “No”. As a people pleaser, I so often want to say yes to everyone and make everyone else happy that I forget to look inwardly at what I want and need. On top of being a people pleaser i’m also a very much an introvert. I used to pay no attention to this and over committing was my middle name! I have learned slowly and painfully, that even when you want to say yes, sometimes you just shouldn’t. If it doesn’t work for you don’t do it! So many times, I have said yes to my friends and gone and felt miserable. I have felt miserable because I feel guilty about all the things I am not doing or didn’t get done or I am just socially drained to the point I just can’t and i’m un-fun. My friends can almost always tell and then I feel bad bc I don’t feel like I can give all of myself to them bc my brain is now stressing to get whatever I left at home done. Not to mention that I become emotionally unavailable to the people around me, which is not cool at all.
I’m not saying just leave your friends high and dry by any means. But trust me when I say putting yourself first will benefit you and your friendships in the long run! Life is all about balance and missing a party or event is okay! There will always be another event to go to but the moments you have for yourself are only happen when you take and make time for them. Make sure you take the time to get whatever is on your list done to a point where you can have a good time! Also take time for yourself and put you first! That smile on my face is something i’m so proud of and I think I can truly say that learning to say “No” and managing my stress is the main reason it’s there (oh and Matt- who’s kinda of actually really amazing and keeps me out of my own way, but don’t tell him I said that 😉 ).
So, make your list, assign times, and map out your plan! Most importantly remember you can only truly please yourself! Loving yourself and loving what you do is the absolute most important. Once you do that, everything else will fall into place!
I hope this helps you and you have a wonderful week!
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